The scourge of fentanyl addiction and its devastating impacts was the focus of a daylong forum in Albuquerque on Thursday as part of Bernalillo County’s “Keep New Mexico Alive” campaign.
In addition to workshops and panel discussions, six forum participants who first used fentanyl in their teen years, and now in their 20s, talked about how the highly addictive and inexpensive synthetic opioid has affected their lives. Each said they were in different stages of sobriety and recovery.
Use of fentanyl — which is 50 to100 times more potent than heroin and morphine — can be lethal and overdoses have exploded across the country in recent years. It’s been a particularly dire situation for young people who now overdose on it more than any other drug. The situation has become more complex as fentanyl is now commonly mixed with other illicit drugs without the knowledge of the user.
Staff members from the Serenity Mesa Recovery Center and the Second Judicial District Young Adult Court program asked the participants a series of questions at the forum.
The following has been edited for length and clarity.
How were you exposed to fentanyl and what was alluring about it?
Dominique
A lot of my friends started using it. One of my best friends ended up overdosing and dying, and I really didn’t know how to cope. I used it to numb the pain. It just kind of spiraled out of control. Before I knew it, I was having to snort a pill every hour because it wasn’t lasting.
Ryan
At about 13, I started using Vicodin. It was more recreational until fentanyl came out, which was a lot cheaper. I just happened to be at a party one day. I noticed how fast you get physically addicted to it. It takes you over in like a week, two weeks, and you’re dependent on it.
Vincent
I started using fentanyl at 15. It was kind of an escape, a way to kind of cope with things that were going on at home.
Jordan
My son’s father was using it at the time. I did it because I started to notice when I was using drugs, I was getting more attention from men.
Andrea
I started using heroin at 19. I grew up in a household full of users, and I was also trying to escape the mental things that I was going through at home. I was also in a relationship with someone who was fully addicted to heroin already.
Michael
The first time I used fentanyl was for suicidal tendencies. I wanted to overdose, I guess.
What did you know about fentanyl before using it?
Dominique
I just knew it was dangerous; it was lethal. It was new on the streets, and we just knew it was a different feeling. It wasn’t like any other opiate. A lot of people think that is similar to heroin or regular oxy, but it’s not. It’s a whole different feeling that you get.
Ryan
I knew it was an anesthetic. I knew it was a lot more powerful than heroin or oxy.
Vincent
I was unaware of the effects of fentanyl and what it really was until I started trying to educate myself and I went to a treatment center.
Jordan
I knew it was addictive. I knew it was a downer. I never did downers, but because I never did, I was OK to try it.
Andrea
When I was using, fentanyl wasn’t big on the streets, it was more heroin. I didn’t know that heroin was highly addictive. I hear and see a lot in my work that fentanyl is very lethal and it just controls your whole life.
Michael
The only thing I knew about fentanyl before I was introduced to it was that people were killing for it. That’s what my brother was murdered over.
Did social media play a role?
Dominique
Most definitely it had a big influence on it. It made it easy to access. You knew where you could get it. You could get it on Snapchat.
Ryan
There’s a fentanyl emoji, so people just post that you can get it. And there’s apps. It’s very easy to buy any drug you want.
Vincent
I would say at a point it was really accessible. It was just a matter of sending a message. Everyone I knew was selling.
Jordan
I started to see that there were a lot of group chats to tell people where to go and pick up drugs. You never knew who you’re going to meet. Social media is one easy way to get a drug and get hooked on fentanyl.
Andrea
Social media made it easier to access drugs in general. For me, it was just Facebook at the time.
Michael
I was always too paranoid, but I knew people used social media to sell it to a lot of people.
When did your journey to recovery begin?
Dominique
It was the moment I overdosed. My husband had gotten home and I kind of got the ultimatum: I could get clean or get out and go live on the street. And my kids — that’s the whole reason why I got sober. I was giving them the same childhood that I grew up in — with parents of addicts — and seeing them overdose and seeing them use. I didn’t want that, so I detoxed at home. I had to give them the childhood and the life that I never got to have.
Ryan
I overdosed and went to a hospital for a while, but they released me shortly after. There was aftercare for a month, so I managed to stay clean for that month. But I relapsed and overdosed again. That time I went to rehab, and it’s taken a year to get clean. It took a couple relapses. I think the biggest thing that helped me is I sought out spiritual healing. I sought a curandera, and I thank her for the reason that I’m clean right now.
Vincent
Two things motivated me to start recovery. One was this time I had lost a pill at my sister’s house and I feared that my little niece would find it. I think another thing that was kind of a motive was just my morals that I grew up with.
Jordan
My journey started when I was released to Young Adult Court. If I didn’t complete it, I was going to do five-and-a-half years of prison. I was scared of prison. I have a four-year-old son. Another thing that motivated me was to know that I have people who don’t know me that believe in me. Now, my family’s very supportive.
Andrea
My recovery journey started with the Young Adult Court and being accepted and inducted into the program, but I really didn’t take my recovery seriously until I was sitting in jail facing four years in prison and being served with papers saying that my rights to my children were going to be terminated.
MichaelMy recovery journey started with my parole officer not letting me go to prison and making me go to Darrin’s Place. But the Young Adult Court was probably the best thing that could happen, because at that point I already had given up on who I was as a person and I didn’t care if I lived or died.