Recently in talking with a friend, I mentioned I was mulling over topics for my regular column. I always have ideas about current events, and there is always lots to write about – children’s issues, women’s struggles, voter issues, for starters. And it’s easy to get mired in the heartbreak of two vicious wars, climate crisis, gun violence and more.
My friend had a better idea – more suited to the holiday season. He suggested I write about how people are being nicer to each other. I was intrigued and asked him to tell me more.
I listened as he told me about shopping recently in Home Depot. Surprisingly, he said, store personnel seemed friendlier. They were especially helpful and kind, so much so that he asked one person if there had been some kind of corporate memo about being more customer friendly.
The answer was, “No, everyone just feels better.” And after that my friend felt better too.
And that’s the point. Feeling better as we come out of the pandemic and overcome its residual effect – the epidemic of isolation and loneliness. It’s an epidemic that has no vaccine, but it has a remedy: social interaction with people you know and sometimes with people you don’t know.
Dr. Vivek Murthy, U. S. Surgeon General, in his warning about isolation reminds us “social connection is essential to humanity… as essential as food, drink and shelter.” We are wired for it.
And the epidemic is not just in the U. S.
In Sweden a social strategist, Asa Koski, started the “say hi” (in Swedish it’s “sag heji”) campaign. It was an effort designed specifically to help combat social isolation. Engaging with strangers can be positive.
In the Netherlands, there is a national campaign to combat isolation.
To most of us, interacting with a stranger may not seem important, but studies show positive social interactions are good for our health – and our hearts.
I agree.
Since reading about Sweden, I asked others if they had stories of interacting with friends or strangers. One couple delightedly told me their experience. They love to garden, and their garden reflects it. It was a story of strangers walking by and stopping to chat with them, attracted to their garden. The strangers are of all ages.
Then, wandering through the bookstore this week while Christmas shopping, I had my own experience. I stopped next to the table featuring Barbara Streisand’s new memoir. “993 pages,” I said to the woman next to me. “Wow!” We had a short conversation, wondering if we wanted to know that much about Streisand. She asked me about some books I was holding. Then, we parted ways.
But not for long. She tracked me down in the fiction aisle a few minutes later. This time she told me she was new to Albuquerque and looking for a book group to join. I couldn’t help her, but we continued to visit. After a few minutes, I knew her name, where she lived, and she took my email address. The conversation came full circle. It turned out she lives across the street from the friend who suggested I write about people being nicer.
Finding and engaging with strangers during this holiday season is easy. Go shopping, take a walk, stand in line at the post office, sit next to someone new at church, attend a lecture, volunteer. Strangers are everywhere.
Engage in your own “say hi” campaign. You might make someone’s day. And yours too.
I haven’t heard from the woman in the bookstore. I hope I do. But in the meantime, I think we both feel better.